Movember: changing the face of Irish sport

Here, friends, are some moustaches that have inspired me during the lonely, unhygenic month of Movember.

No 1. Martin Storey
The Oulart-the-Ballagh man captained Wexford to a famous All-Ireland title win in 1996 despite this soup-strainer. The moustache went on to a have a key role in the forming of the GPA some years later.
If it was a ZZ Top song it would be: Just Got Paid

No 2. Rudi Voller/Frank Rijkaard
These two will forever be united by the Dutchman’s spittle. Though Voller’s blonde curls dripped in Rijkaard’s saliva during a tense World Cup clash in 1990 – in which both were dismissed – their reputations as whisker fanciers remained untarnished.
If it was a ZZ Top song it would be: Arrested For Driving While Blind

No 3. Keith Hernandez
One of the best first basemen in baseball – like, ever – ‘Mex’ was part of the feral New York Mets that won an unlikely World Series in 1986. He and the moustache later appeared in Seinfeld, fact fans as the second spitter in the pastiche of Oliver Stone’s JFK.
If it was a ZZ Top song it would be: Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers

No 4. Willie Joe Padden
Will Galway bate Mayo, the Saw Doctors asked lyrically some years ago. Not if they have Willie Joe, was the refrain, of course. Most people, however, fail to realise that all Padden’s strength was derived from his impressive moustache. In his later years, when a clean shave was fashionable, an almost unrecognisable Willie Joe was reduced to playing Junior B.
If it was a ZZ Top song it would be: Sharp Dressed Man

No 5. Hulk Hogan
When asked recently, who’s lip-tickler I modelled my own on this past few weeks, I had to admit, with my 24-inch pythons, I went for the Hulkamania look. He may be bad at raising his children, but Jesus Christ, could he grow and/or dye facial hair.
If it was a ZZ Top song it would be: Gimme All Your Lovin’